Thursday, July 31, 2008

What's the Opposite of Nesting?

A longtime dream of mine is to live in New York City. In an attempt to finally follow this dream, I am applying to grad school at NYU and Columbia U. More specifically, I am applying for a 16-month accelerated program that starts in January. I envision myself renting a room somewhere in the Big Apple and living like a pauper/college student again. While this sounded romantic and cool when I was 18, it all seems very daunting at the ripe old age of 40. I imagine that I will throw away or sell most everything that I own and keep only what fits into a U-Haul trailer. I will be starting over. Literally.

Recently, I have been feeling a strong compulsion to start getting rid of extraneous stuff laying around my apartment. I have been going through drawers and closets and shelves like a maniac. I'm filling up garbage bags, and I've already started a pile of various items to carry to the public landfill on Saturday. I find myself looking around and mentally pricing belongings for a possible yard sale. This is highly unusual for me, as I am a lifelong pack rat---just ask my mother.

I remember the last time I felt this way.

It was eleven years ago, almost to the day. I was living in Charlotte at the time, and I had returned home from my interview with my current employer. After several previous miserable job interviews, I felt really good about this one. I felt so good, as a matter of fact, that I started to pack that very night. It would be two weeks before the job would even be offered to me, but I felt a strong compulsion to gather my belongings into boxes on the same day as my interview.

I hope this "compulsion" bodes as well as it did last time.

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